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Random Clinton Monica-gate Jokes
Q: What's the difference
between President Clinton and the Titanic?
A: "Only 1500 went
down on the Titanic."
Q: What's the name of
Hillary's next book?
A: It Takes a Village
to Keep an Eye on My Husband.
Q: What's the new name
for the latest Presidential scandal?
A. Fornigate.
Q: What's the new game
they're playing in the White House?
A: Swallow the Leader.
Q: What does Monica
Lewinsky have on her resume?
A: "Sat on the Presidential
Staff."
Q: What else does Monica
Lewinsky have on her resume?
A: "Worked on Presidential
Balls."
Q: When did Clinton
realize Monica Lewinsky wasn't a Democrat?
A: When she didn't swallow
everything he presented.
Q: What's the definition
of an Arkansas Virgin?
A: A girl that can run
faster than the Governor.
Q: What's the first
thing Bill says to Hillary after sex?
A: I'll be home in 20
minutes.
Q: What's the first
thing Bill said after the Lewinsky allegations?
A: "Oh, now she
opens her mouth!"
Q: Why does Clinton
invite so many women into the oval office?
A: To show them the executive
branch.
Q: Why has Clinton been
so silent on this issue?
A: He's hoping this will
peter-out in a few days.
Q: Why does Hillary
wear the pants in the White House?
A: Because Bill can't
keep his on!
Q: Why does Clinton
wear underpants?
A: To keep his ankles
warm.
Q: What was President
Clinton's explanation for having oral sex with Monica Lewinsky?
A: "They told me she
was the 'head' intern!"
Q: A reporter asked
Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"
A: Clinton responded
by saying, "No, she was on her knees."
Q: How many White House
Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they are too
busy screwing the President.
Q: What do Monica Lewinsky
and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset
when Bill finished first.
Q: What is Bill's definition
of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out
of town.
Q: Why is Clinton so
interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza
Strip is a topless bar.
In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton", 86% replied, "Not again."
Presidential Most Memorables
JFK: "Ich bin ein Berliner"
Nixon: "I am not a crook"
Reagan: "Tear down that wall, Mr. Gorbachev"
Bush: "Read my lips"
Clinton: "Suck my dick"
Author:
Unknown
Received: 1998