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Short Story Jokes
In the Land of Oz
Clinton, Gingrich, and Quayle were on their way to a summit conference on Air Force One. The weather was terrible and the plane went down in the Land of Oz. Knowing they had to get back to Washington, they took the yellow brick road to the Wizard's Castle.
When they arrived, Gingrich said, "Wizard, we have to get back to D.C. right away. But you know, while I'm here I could use a heart." And the Wizard gave him a heart.
Then Quayle said, "Uh, Wizard, I could surely use a brain." And the Wizard gave him a brain.
Then Clinton said, "Say, where's Dorothy?"
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"Fornigate"
In the aftermath of the initial administration responses to the breaking story, it seems apparent that Mr. Clinton has left a bad taste in Lewinsky's mouth. A growing majority are finding the president's story hard to swallow, noting that it appears quite evident that Monica was influenced by some sort of presidential "gag order."
The First Lady, the recognized steward of the president's power base, is reported to be afraid that Lewinsky has blown everything. Vernon Jordan is reported to have suggested that Ms. Lewinsky approach the president with a stiff upper lip for the time being, and is quite upset at how much damage her wagging tongue seems to have done. Meanwhile, the White House staff is engaged in a furious search for Richard Nixon's tape erasing machine, last seen on loan to the offices of the Rose law firm in Little Rock.
In an effort of goodwill, however, the administration has extended an invitation to Ms. Lewinsky for an exclusive guided tour of the capital city's national parks one night next week. Ms. Lewinsky's attorney has chided the mainstream media for taking out of context a comment by her close friends that she once said she wanted to head the Oval Office someday. Defending his client as a victim, he said that "...this oral sex thing really has her choked up, you know."
Mr. Starr, the independent prosecutor investigating the case, remains unmoved, and has made it clear that to avoid criminal liability herself, Ms. Lewinsky will be required to give a complete blow-by blow description of her relationship with Mr. Clinton.
Chelsea Clinton, when asked for her opinion of the woman who stands to dethrone her father, simply replied, "She sucks!"
In a related story, a truck bomb scare in the front driveway of the White House resulted in the evacuation of the building until Secret Service agents ascertained that the Ryder van parked in the drive was just Tipper Gore waiting out front with her furniture.
Author: Uknown
Received: February 1998