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Welcome to Anthony's Comedy Lounge!
While I was in Japan on the JET Program, my friends helped me survive periods of culture shock and occasional bouts of homesickness & depression by sending me dozens of stories and jokes over the three years. Thanks to their frequent "humor care packages," I was never far away from a hearty fit of laughter.
I saved almost everything my friends sent and am posting them here for your entertainment. As far as I know, I'm not violating any copyrights, and I try to give credit to the author where known. You'll also note that I indicate the date I received the little bundle of merriment (to the best of my recollection). Some things seem to wander the Internet forever, so you may see them pop up again at any time, especially the Christmas ones.
Please feel free to send me new material. I'm always in the mood for a good laugh. And remember, these are posted here for fun - some may be a little offensive, but please read them with the humor with which they were intended.
- You Might Be From Michigan If...
- You Might Be a Republican If...
- Your Favorite Color is the Key to Your Sexual Life: Be sure to pick your favorite color before you read this!!
- Our Global Village: What would it look like if there were exactly 100 people in it with all current human ratios being the same? This one's not comedic, but gives you something to think about instead.
- The Bill of No Rights: Thats right, you read correctly. In this age where so many people think they are automatically entitled to all of the Good Things in life without earning them, here is a bit of reality for them.
- A Typical Daily PBS Schedule if the Public Broadcasting Leaders Cave In to Republican Pressure: What would PBS be like if the conservative Republicans controlled it?
- A Letter to Rep. Newt Gingrich from Fresno Bee reporter John Scalzi. It includes an informal poll Scalzi conducted on Newt's remarks about -- and astonishing misunderstanding of -- typical male behavior.
- Republican Light Bulb Joke #1: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Lincoln & JFK - Mystery or Coincidence?
Our Special Clinton and Monica Section
- The Top 16 Nicknames for the Presidential Scandal
- Application Form for a White House Internship: Do you have the right stuff?
- Random Clinton Monica-gate Jokes: These are the short Q&A type.
- Short Story Jokes: These are just a paragraph or two long.
- Starr I Are: A humerous take of the situation in Dr. Seuss style.
- The Top 10 Questions Kenneth Starr Plans to Ask Monica Lewinsky
- Hillary's Question: We can't forget the First Lady's point of view!
- Is Santa a Woman? Here's one woman's take on the true (?) nature of our favorite elf.
- 12 Days of a Modern Christmas: What happens when a well-meaning suitor follows the instructions in the song just a little too literally...
- 'Twas the Night Before Christmas: As written by the U.S. Government (submitted in the original Bureaucratese).
- "The Gingrich That Stole Congress": A new twist on an old favorite, by Dr. Seuss Gingrich.
- Church Bulletin Board Bloopers
- In the Beginning... God booted up his hard drive.
- The Drunken Nun
- Theological Engineering Exam: Do you feel like you're pretty well versed in your faith? Give this exam a try then!
- Microsoft Bids to Acquire Catholic Church: Here is the "official" word from AP!
- Honk If You Love Jesus: But try to avoid the Hawaiian love sign!
- The Preacher's Ass
- The Monk Test
- If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft
- Bubba's Harddrives: This sounds like the kind of place I want to order from.
- Computerized Car: Is this "artificial intelligence", or is it right on?
- Toasters: What would the world be like if high tech companies tackled this humble appliance?
- Proper Diskette Care & Usage
- Mouse Balls: This tasty morsel originated in Japan.
- If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals...
People Come up with the Dangedest Things
- FabuAir: The First Gay Airline
- Real Life Cybersex: Uh, all of a sudden, I have a headache...
- Email Facts of Life: I'm completely over people sending me the stupidest emails -- chain letters, online petitions, and so on. Everyone should read this one -- especially email newbies!
- Actual Answering Machine Messages: These are pretty funny. But if you ask nicely, I'll give you my mom's telephone number and you can call hers. Hers are especially good around the major holidays. My mother is a scream!
- The New 50 State Mottos: Some are a little offensive... but very amusing!
- The "Truth" About Scooby-Doo: Say.. this isn't what I remember about my favorite childhood cartoon!
- The Hungarian Evita Interview: Attributed to Gary Trudeau, this is an "interview" between Hungary's trendy Blikk magazine and the reincarnation of Evita, Madonna.
- Omni Theories: Omni Magazine sponsored a contest to come up with new theories of the way things are.
- Letter from the Smithsonian: Is the discovery of an ancient plastic "skull" proof that humans lived in Charleston County two million years ago? Here's the evidence. Now you decide...
- Meetings: the Key to Success: Here are the hilarious do's and don'ts.
- Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia: Clinton's true, caring nature comes through on this humanitarian mission of mercy.
- Top 10 Changes at NASA to Accommodate John Glenn
- 23 Secrets to Being the Best Evil Overlord
- 31 Signs You've Been Online Too Much
- 33 Steps Toward Personal Growth and Life Fulfillment: Is your therapist holding out on you? Read this, then ditch the therapist!
- The Top 15 Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart
- The Top 10 Ways Cars Would Be Different If Microsoft Built Cars
- 50 Fun Things for Teachers to Do on the First Day of Class
- 29 Ways to Annoy People
- Top 10 List of Negotiating Points in the Budget Battle Between Congress and the Administration
- Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route
- Top 10 Things Men Shouldn't Say Out Loud in Victoria's Secret
- Bumper Stickers
- Good Sons: Four old friends go golfing and share the successes of their sons - with a new twist to a supposedly old story.
- Class Struggle: A father explains politics to his young son, who somehow just doesn't get it.
- Granny's Three Wishes: Sometimes you need to be careful about what you wish for...
- The Two Statues: What do you think a statue would do if it could be human for a day? Read this and find out!
- Trivia Collection #1: Assorted brainy trivia to help you out with Jeopardy & Trivia Pursuit.
- Trivia Collection #2: Assorted funny trivia from American Demographics Magazine