 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
The Hungarian Evita Interview
When
the huge Evita production company blew into Budapest last month to rent
its ancient architecture, Madonna, the film's star, was much too busy
staying in character to meet with the local press. Finally, on the eve
of her departure, good manners prevailed, and the pop diva submitted to
an interview with the Budapest newspaper Blikk. The questions were
posed in Hungarian, then translated into English for Madonna, whose replies
were then translated back into Hungarian for the paper's exclusive. Shortly
thereafter, at the request of USA Today, Madonna's comments were
then retranslated from Hungarian back into English for the benefit of
that paper's readers. To say that something was lost in the process is
to be wildly ungrateful for all that was gained. "I am a woman and
not a test-mouse!" reads a typical quote. USA Today, presumably
pressed for space, published only a few of these gems, leaving the rest
to the imagination, whence has sprung the following complete transcript:
Blikk: Madonna, Budapest says hello with arms that are spread-eagled.
Did you have a visit here that was agreeable? Are you in good odor? You
are the biggest fan of our young people who hear your musical productions
and like to move their bodies in response.
Madonna: Thank you for saying these compliments [holds up hands].
Please stop with taking sensationalist photographs until I have removed
my garments for all to see. [laughs] This is a joke I have made.
Blikk: Madonna, let's cut toward the hunt: Are you a bold hussy-woman
that feasts on men who are tops?
Madonna: Yes, yes, this is certainly something that brings to the
surface my longings. In America it is not considered to be mentally ill
when a woman advances on her prey in a discotheque setting with hardy
cocktails present. And there is a more normal attitude toward leather
play-toys that also makes my day.
Blikk: Is this how you met Carlos, your love-servant who is reputed?
Did you know he was heaven-sent right off the stick? Or were you dating
many other people in your bed at the same time?
Madonna: No, he was the only one I was dating in my bed then, so
it is a scientific fact that the baby was made in my womb using him.
But as regards these questions, enough! I am a woman and not a test-mouse!
Carlos is an everyday person who is in the orbit of a star who is being
muscle-trained by him, not a sex machine.
Blikk: May we talk about your other "baby," your movie,
then? Please do not be denying that the similarities between you and the
real Evita are grounded in basis. Power, money, tasty food, Grammys--all
these elements are afoot.
Madonna: What is up in the air with you? Evita never was winning
a Grammy!
Blikk: Perhaps not. But as to your film, in trying to bring your
reputation along a rocky road, can you make people forget the bad explosions
of Who's That Girl? and Shanghai Surprise?
Madonna: I am a tip-top starlet. That is my job that I am paid
to do.
Blikk: O.K., here's a question from left space: What was your book
Slut about?
Madonna: It was called Sex, my book.
Blikk: Not in Hungary. Here it was called Slut. How did it come
to publish? Were you lovemaking with a man-about-town printer? Do you
prefer making suggestive literature to fast-selling CDs?
Madonna: These are different facets to my career highway. I am
preferring only to become respected all over the map as a 100% artist.
Blikk: There is much interest in you from this geographic region,
so I must ask this final questions: How many Hungarian men have you dated
in bed? Are they No. 1? How are they comparing to Argentine men, who are
famous for being tip-top, as well?
Madonna: Well, to avoid aggravating global tension, I would say
it's a tie. [laughs] No, no, I am serious now. See here, I am working
like a canine all the way around the clock! I have been too busy even
to try the goulash that makes your country one for the record books.
Blikk: Thank you for your candid chitchat.
Madonna: No problem, friend who is a girl.
Author:
Attributed to Gary Trudeau
Received: Spring 1996