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31 Signs You've Been Online Too Much
- Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
- When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search function to get to the point.
- Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL."
- When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your response.
- You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there's nothing there.
- You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
- You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
- You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out."
- Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
- You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet "sweet_girl" face-to-face.
- You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
- You have to get a second phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
- You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.
- You have met over 100 onliners.
- You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
- When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
- You find yourself sneaking away to the 'puter in the night when your spouse is asleep.
- You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're online again.
- You know more about online friends' daily routines than you do your own spouse's.
- You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.
- You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own.
- You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth.
- You change your screen name so much that you have to do a whois to know who you are.
- You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.
- You won't work at a job that doesn't have full-time Internet access involved.
- Your dog leaves you.
- You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
- You type faster than you can think.
- You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
- You don't want to leave in case you miss something.
- You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to check your mail and while there you "just wanted to see who was online"
Author:
Unknown
Received: February 1998