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Homestays in Japan
Kirsty Bailey, ALT
Ninohe Town, 1994-96
Yep, it's pretty self-explanatory, really. A homestay is basically where you "live" with a Japanese family, as opposed to on your own. Homestays can be as short as an overnight stop or as long as a few months. If you want to look into doing a long-term homestay, it's probably best to contact the current bod you're going to succeed in Japan first. After all, he/she's the one with all the connections in the area. If he/she has no luck in finding you anything suitable, try contacting the Embassy of Japan in your home country where you interviewed, as they should have information on any homestay schemes available.
Living like a "true" Japanese for a number of months may appeal to your Zen spirit and may seem like a perfect way to be able to fully comprehend the lives and minds of such a unique people, but, let's face it, you're 99% likely to lose your sanity in the process. (If you think you're the exceptional 1%, then go for it.) I mean, there's going to be those times (very few, but they happen nevertheless) when you want to go home and throw that exquisite tea set -- presented by the mayor's beautiful kimono-clad wife herself -- straight through the window. Or, you'll want to sit in a dark corner in your room and forget about the world revolving, attainable if you turn up the Hendrix just a few more decibels. Well, the bad news is that you won't be able to do that whenever the mood takes you if you're doing a long-term homestay.
With a short-term homestay, on the other hand, you get the best of both worlds. You can experience what it's like to live with a Japanese family (you may not feel like you're a full "part" of the family, but would you ever?) for a time, then return home to get your privacy back. Afterwards, you'd be able to visit your homestay family as much or as little as you want. The best way to organize a short-term homestay is by writing to your predecessor as soon as you know his or her address. They will have been in the area long enough to know who to ask about organizing one. And make sure they let the Board of Education, or whoever's going to be responsible for you, know about it; i.e., who you'll be staying with and for how long.
I, myself, did a short-term homestay and indeed many people do, so that's what I'll concentrate on now. To be honest, I didn't actually want one at first. After spending three days in Tokyo being a complete culture vulture, all I wanted to do was to sit in a dark corner in my new house, turn up the decibels and forget that the world was revolving. However, two nights in a Buddhist temple awaited me. The priest's daughter was a friend of my predecessor, and after spending a year in New Zealand, she was keen to strike up a friendship with the new gaijin in town, namely me. I remember being driven to the temple, hoping that on the way we would enter the Twilight Zone and the two days would flash by in a split-second. As it turned out, my initial fears, paranoia, tiredness and whatever else I may have felt were swept away by the unbelievable hospitality and friendliness of my homestay family. I felt very comfortable straight away and the whole family bent over backwards to help me.
Concerning etiquette, it's true that it permeates every possible niche of Japanese life. Basically, you can never be too polite in Japan, so rattle off those domo arigato gozaimashita's and bow as much as you like. But you really don't have to worry about anything. Just observe any rules of behaviour that you would if you were a guest back in your own country, i.e., try to notice the way things are done and keep in line with that. Your homestay family will obviously not expect you to be adept in the intricacies of Japanese custom and they will allow abundantly for it.
One important thing I should stress is that you should bring some kind of gift for the family, ideally something special from your country, i.e., something they might not be able to get in Japan necessarily. (A jar of peanut butter and a Hershey bar would not be a good idea.) You should ask your predecessor beforehand if they know whether the family has any collective special interest and you could therefore get something in line with that. My family were tea fanatics, so I brought them a large tin of Earl Grey tea from Britain which they seemed to be pretty chuffed with. Oh, and make sure it's nicely wrapped.
I'd thoroughly recommend doing a short-term homestay. It meant instant friends in a foreign land and I've made many other good friends through them. They also provided me with valuable information about the area and gave me my first insight into Japanese life. Although I only spent two days with them (the average duration of a homestay is a week or so), I still visit them regularly and I can safely say we have a good friendship.
Anyway, good luck if you decide to go for it. It really is worth it. Meanwhile, if you'll excuse me, I'm now going to retreat to the privacy of my own home to turn up the decibels and throw that tea set through the window...